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The maze

3rd October 2003, lunch time | Comments (2)

Rat in a maze, originally from darwin.bio.uci.edu

What do you know about mazes?

My knowledge is fairly limited: there’s the story of the maze, the Minotaur and that chap (Theseus) with the string; and there’s a famous maze in England called the Hampton Court Maze. I’m not sure if I’ve been there myself, but by all accounts it’s a tricky one.

And that’s about it.

Well, to this less than impressive knowledge base I can now add another entry: The Route From Our Front Door To The Computer Room And Back.

It’s a killer.

Before I go any further, I’m going to leave the computer, walk to the front door, turn around, and walk back. I shall time myself…

…

There. Twenty seconds for the round trip. Two right hand turns on the way out, two left hand turns on the way back. Straight lines in between. An easy stroll through porch, hall, living room, and computer room, preparatory to turning around and doing the whole thing in reverse.

So how is that when the Men That Come To Fix My Computer visit, the following happens:

Man
Rings door bell.
Dunstan
Walks to front door
Ah, hello Computer Man, come on in.
Man
Thank you.
Dunstan
Leads the way to the computer room.
10 seconds later we arrive.
Here is the computer. It is broken.
Man
Fixes computer
All done. I’ll be off now then.
Glances worriedly around room, finally spots the only door.
Um, is it this way out?
Dunstan
Yes, that’s right.
Man
Walks out the door, is confronted by living room, with only one other exit
Walks hesitantly towards this door, glancing at me
Dunstan
Gives an encouraging nod.
We
Emerge into the hall.
Man
Oh, I seem to be a little lost. Is it this door?
Dunstan
No, in fact that’s the toilet. You want the door you came in through 20 minutes ago.
Man
Oh yes.
Turns left into the kitchen.
Oh, er…
Dunstan
Try again.
Man
Turns right into dinning room
Dunstan
So close. Try again.
Man
Turns around and walks into the living room.
Dunstan
Runs out of patience.
Right, well enough of this. You want this door here… and there’s the outside world for you. Goodbye.
Man
The light! The air!
Kneels on floor and raises hands to the sky.
Thank you God!

Elapsed time = 4 minutes.
Number of times Man got lost = 5.

It’s remarkable.

I now see three options open to me:

  1. Next time a Computer Man visits I should tie a piece of string to the front door for him, a la Theseus;
  2. I could usurp the Hampton Court people and open our house to the public; or
  3. I can continue to scare and confuse the Computer Men.

Hmmm… decisions, decisions…

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Comments (2)

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  1. Steph:

    *laugh* did you wonder how he fixed your computer?

    Posted 3 days, 8 hours after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  2. Dunstan:

    They’re not always the best — the first guy finished fixing my laptop, closed up the case and then found he had a screw left over!

    It look us ages to find where it was meant to go.

    Posted 4 days, 5 hours after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Steph

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