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A good clean fight

28th September 2004, early morning | Comments (35)

The Girlfriend and I, lying in bed last night, half conscious, unable to fully get to sleep…

The GF
…did you just spit on me?
The GF
did you just spit on me?
err… yes, sorry, I think I did.
The GF
why did you spit on me?
sorry, I think I was dreaming and I had to spit, and I must have done it in real life as well.
The GF
you can’t just spit on people, Honey.
no spitting, and no eye-gouging…
The GF
…uh-huh: those are the Rules Of The Bed. In the morning we’ll write them down.

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Comments (35)

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  1. Rob Mientjes:

    Nobody got harmed?

    Oh, and she looks like a really strict girl. She's got ya around her finger! Well, not really. But on what and why would one spit in a dream?

    Posted 29 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Mark Wubben
  2. Mark Wubben:

    Perhaps he was dreaming about The Rules of the Bed....

    Posted 33 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Rob Mientjes
    Inspired: ↓ Rob Mientjes
  3. Shunuk:

    Hehe. I have a rule when my girlfriend has been out drinking and is drunk as a skunk:

    No asking me if, "you are angry at me," at 4am. I notoriously am.

    Posted 38 minutes after the fact
  4. Rob Mientjes:

    Yeah! That's why he's holding back on this! He doesn't dare to say that he doesn't like The Rules of the Bed!

    Posted 38 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Mark Wubben
  5. Danithew:

    When we were first married my wife and I had a few occasions where one of us (accidentally of course) experienced an elbow to the head. Having someone else in the bed sometimes takes some getting used to. So far though there have been no incidences of spitting.

    Posted 47 minutes after the fact
  6. Lee:

    The first rule of the bed is:

    No spitting

    The second rule of the bed is:


    Posted 1 hour, 5 minutes after the fact
  7. Fatty:

    This is the advantage of being single - I get to make up my own Rules of the Bed.


    That sounded really dodgy, didn't it?

    Posted 1 hour, 18 minutes after the fact
  8. Nicholas Johnson:

    At least that's all you got.

    Mine would have got like this:
    : …wha?
    : did you just spit on me?
    : err… yes, sorry, I think I did.
    : *TROUNCE!*
    The next day...
    "We are here to day to honor the dead..."

    Posted 1 hour, 41 minutes after the fact
  9. Jason:

    I've been there.

    A couple weeks ago, at one point in one of my dreams I was brushing my teeth--woke up "mid-spit"--and apparently I did in reality, albeit more of a large drool/dribble (volume sans velocity).

    Posted 2 hours, 47 minutes after the fact
  10. Chuckg:

    At least it wasn't a "ahhhh" followed by:

    GF: Did you just wet the bed??
    Dunstan: I had a dream about my childhood.
    GJ: Go get the towels, you're on the couch.

    Bed wetting, the single most heinous act ... if you get caught.

    Posted 2 hours, 58 minutes after the fact
  11. Liz:

    A few mornings ago I punched Sideshow in the face, under the impression that he was the snooze button on the clock radio.


    Posted 3 hours, 14 minutes after the fact
  12. The Girlfriend:

    Okay…I won’t go into the specifics of the fine line that sometimes exists between Dunstan’s dream state and reality, but I have to step in to clarify parts of the post and also to say that this was funny as opposed to annoying. :o)

    Dunstan: *spppp*
    Me: Hey, you just spit on me. (as opposed to “…did you just spit on me?” -- there was no question over whether or not I felt the spray of saliva on my back!)
    Dunstan: …wha?
    Me: You just spit on me!
    Dunstan: err… yes, sorry, I think I did

    After we acknowledged the fact that Dunstan spit on me, we both fell asleep. The latter part of Dunstan’s post is mostly true, but it happened this morning as we laughed over last night’s occurrence. :o)

    Dunstan, you never did say what it was you were dreaming about. Should I regret Sunday's trip to the Folsom Street Fair…?

    Posted 3 hours, 18 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Noelino, ↓ Jay, ↓ Rob Mientjes
  13. Dante Evans:

    Couples are so cute when the fight, eh? :p

    Maybe the girlfriend was snoring and Dunstan subconsciously wanted to wake her up, so he spat on her...?

    That's just my theory.

    Posted 4 hours, 13 minutes after the fact
  14. Noelino:

    The Girlfriend actually exists! Dunstan wasn't just talking about his "invisible friends" again... ;P

    Posted 5 hours, 18 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ The Girlfriend
    Inspired: ↓ Rob Mientjes
  15. Jay:

    Hehehe, the funny anecdotes always bring a smile to my face. Thank you Dunstan.
    This is exactly the reason why i come here, well that and the nice pictures and the classes on php and css.

    Ow and thank you miss girlfriend, reading your side of the story is a very nice and welcome addition. Not in the least because your witty writing skills are certainly up to par with Dunstan's. Kudos on that. I believe you should try and do that more often, Dunstan has been telling nothing but grave lies about you, and i feel something needs to be done about this great injustice that has befallen you, besides the spitting of course.

    Posted 5 hours, 27 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ The Girlfriend
  16. Rob Mientjes:

    Don't! You'll jinx it!

    Oh, and GF: And you weren't the least bit surprised?

    Posted 6 hours, 5 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ The Girlfriend, ↑ Noelino
  17. CEB:

    I'm sure she's probably used to his saliva by now ;P

    Posted 7 hours, 12 minutes after the fact
  18. Kristi Gamarel: began with trying to escape from my dear friends window in the middle of the night. The other day you both tell me that you grabbed for her eyebrow to make sure that it was't several feet long and now you spit on her in your sleep!!! I think we are going to have to stage a small intervention. This is getting out of hand. I can't wait to hear what's next ; )

    Posted 8 hours, 4 minutes after the fact
  19. Simon:

    haha thats a great blog dustan ..

    Posted 10 hours, 8 minutes after the fact
  20. Morgan Aldridge:

    Hehe. Definitely hilarious! I have a feeling my girlfriend has stopped counting the odd occurrences when I'm tiptoeing the line between sleep and consciousness. Although I've heard many stories about them, I don't think I've spit on her yet. : P

    Posted 20 hours, 8 minutes after the fact
  21. Gabriel Mihalache:

    The girlfriend needs a name, even an imaginary one will do. Calling her "the girlfriend" is objectifying her into a role. How "Sartre" of me! :-)

    Posted 20 hours, 22 minutes after the fact
  22. Web:

    Things like this are cute today, fast forward 2 years, if you dare "hock a loogie" on her .. forget it .. you might as well sleep on the floor.

    Posted 22 hours, 51 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Darryl Millar
  23. Darryl Millar:

    I believe the correct term is to "hork" the loogie in question.

    Posted 1 day, 11 hours after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Web
  24. Biggest Apple:

    I thought the first Rule of Fight Club was you don't talk about Fight Club?

    Now that you've spilled the beans though I got to admit I thought it would be a whole lot more violent.

    Posted 1 day, 19 hours after the fact
  25. Michael:

    Which part of "DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB" didn't you understand Biggest Apple?

    ... I just talked about Fight Club didn't I? Darn it!

    Posted 2 days, 2 hours after the fact
  26. Lisa:

    Something similar (maybe) to this happened to me. Sometimes when I dream, I sleepwalk.

    One night I drempt that there was a cave-in of books,and I had to free people on the other side of the cave in. I woke up to my BF asking "What are you doing?" It was then that I woke up and realized I was trying (and almost succeeded) to pull my bookcase down. My response to the BF was a meak "nothing", and I crawled back into bed, feeling stupider than ever. I wish now that I had just spit on him instead.

    Posted 2 days, 6 hours after the fact
  27. RiderMayBail:

    I had a similar incident quite a while back. I can't quite remember what was happening at the time, but I ended up hitting my GF in the nose with my knee.

    Now whenever she starts doing something annoying, I just point to my knee and say "You need a reintroduction?"

    Of course I wouldn't hit her intentionally, it was purely accidental, but quite funny, as there was an event the next day, and we figured she would end up looking like a raccoon in the pictures.

    Posted 2 days, 17 hours after the fact
  28. Kitta:

    See this is why I enjoy being single, there's no one in my bed to beat me up or spit on me.

    Posted 3 days, 3 hours after the fact
  29. Zachary Blume:

    Ah! All you guys are discouraging me from dating girls :D

    Posted 3 days, 6 hours after the fact
  30. Sarah:

    Many years ago, (and this has only happened once...) I awoke with DH standing next to me, naked except for a long woolly cardigan my mother had handknitted and one ski glove, old boy in hand, posed to pee. A good hefty slap to aforementioned old boy was initiated. Hence, only happened once. Yes, he WAS asleep for those of you about to comment!!! ;-)

    Posted 3 days, 19 hours after the fact
  31. Shade:

    Buwahahaha. Too funny.


    Posted 5 days, 22 hours after the fact
  32. Zeroninie:

    I can't stop laughing.

    Posted 5 days, 22 hours after the fact
  33. Biggest Apple:

    hmm, never had anyone try to pee on me though once when our son was quite little (about 4 yrs old) he had an uncharacteristic accident in the middle of the night. I got up to answer his whimpering and discovered the source of troubles. I stood him up and removed his wet PJs and told him to go to the bathroom while I changed his sheets. A moment later I looked over my shoulder to find that while still half asleep he had lifted the lid to his toy box and was peeing straight into it.

    Posted 6 days, 9 hours after the fact
  34. Jim:

    There are sometimes when you need to spit on your girlfriend.

    Trust me.

    Posted 1 week, 5 days after the fact
  35. Creford:

    In truth, you can't control youself indeed when you fall asleep if you spit.
    I also spited on the train when I fell asleep.
    So I'll give my attention to this.

    Posted 5 months, 1 week after the fact

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