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Missing socks

25th February 2004, the wee hours | Comments (16)

Note: This popped into my head this evening. I have no idea why. My socks are just fine.

A drawing of some socks

I used to have socks
but alas they’re no more
though I peered in the cupboards
and I searched on the floor

I looked in the freezer
and under the stairs
in the end I presumed
they’d been taken by Bears

I phoned London Zoo
and demanded they see
that my socks weren’t being worn
by a chimp or a bee

They checked all their charges
and said there’s no truth
in the thought of my socks
being on claw or on hoof

I called the Police in
to ransack my house
but their search unearthed nothing
not even a mouse

I gave them permission
to question my clothes
but the answers they got
were that “nobody knows”

And lo as I type this
I’ve learned nothing new
my socks are still missing
and my toes have turned blue

My ankles are chilled
and my knees miss the heat
so tonight spare a thought
for my poor little feet

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Comments (16)

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  1. Kitta:

    I love how even the socks look sad in that 'missing' picture. Poor Dunstan. Poor socks.

    Posted 1 hour, 3 minutes after the fact
  2. Chris Vincent:

    You know what's sad? When I came across the headline in my RSS reader, I thought about network sockets before I thought about socks.

    Maybe I should get out more.

    Posted 1 hour, 8 minutes after the fact
  3. Lance E. Leonard:

    very shel silverstein

    Posted 1 hour, 58 minutes after the fact
  4. Stuart:

    Hello? HELLO? You're mental. :-)

    Posted 3 hours, 28 minutes after the fact
  5. Tony Crockford:

    Did you write that? or remember it from somewhere?

    I ask, because I had a poem delivered in my sleep once. It was an urgent dream that insisted I write it down, so I woke up, wrote it down and went back to sleep.

    Here's my sleep delivered poem for your enjoyment:

    All that once was, will be.
    All that will be, once was.
    All that is lost, will be found.
    All that is found, will be lost.
    We know time passes...
    ...No time passes.

    Weird huh?

    Posted 6 hours, 13 minutes after the fact
  6. S T E F:

    Ah... As the saying goes, life socks.

    OK, bad-pun-of-the-day award.

    Posted 6 hours, 38 minutes after the fact
  7. Andrew Green:

    You are Dr. Seuss and I claim my five pounds.

    Posted 6 hours, 39 minutes after the fact
  8. Maki:

    now that almost made my tea go up my nose! Thanks Dunstan :/

    Posted 7 hours, 31 minutes after the fact
  9. Mark Wubben:

    Dear Dunstan, your foot
    there's nothing like that
    It stinks so much
    I'd rather be a hat

    My brother made me tell
    he likes fresh air
    so now wherever you look
    you won't find us there

    For we have abandoned you
    we left in the night
    we're in Holland now
    after a long flight

    With love,

    Dunstan's socks

    Posted 11 hours, 38 minutes after the fact
  10. Matt:

    Quote from Blackadder:

    ..At Prince's House

    Edmund: Sir, if I may make so bold, a major crisis has arisen in your affairs.

    Prince George: Yes, I know, Blackadder -- I've been pondering it all morning.

    Edmund: You have, sir?

    Prince George: Yes -- socks! Run out again!! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any?

    Edmund: Sir, with your forgiveness, there is another, even weightier, problem.

    Prince George: They just...disappear! Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things and then selling them off.

    Edmund: (laughs) Impossible, sir. Only you and I have access to your socks.

    Prince George: Yes, yes, you're right. Still; for me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


    So, Dunstan, you are not alone in your plight.

    Posted 15 hours, 56 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  11. Dunstan:

    Both on the sock-, and sex-front.

    I loved Prince George's character, Hugh Laurey was just perfect.

    [Having just burnt the World's first, and only dictionary]

    George: Isn't it, er...Isn't it going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we've burnt it?

    Blackadder: Yes, it is, sir. If you would excuse me a moment...

    George: Oh, of course, of course. Now that I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.

    Posted 16 hours, 9 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Matt
  12. Becky:

    What's that you say? You've lost your stockings?
    Good gracious! That's dreadful but not very shocking.
    We can't have you roaming the streets with feet bare
    (on second thought, maybe it will distract from your hair
    that you cut by yourself and resembles ... umm ... hay)
    but no! Here's what a good friend would say:
    “It’s a good thing you asked, I'll try to assist --
    Take a close look around and see what you missed."
    And now that I'm finished poking good natured fun
    I buckled right down and here's what I've done.

    I hunted through cupboards, I looked under beds
    (and it's time you made yours, you big sleepyhead).
    I looked in the hamper where I thought socks might be,
    But the hamper was empty with nothing to see.
    "Perhaps he's done laundry and forgotten to fold,"
    I thought to myself, and feeling quite bold
    I peeked in the dryer but found nothing there.
    Silly me! I'd forgotten that you only wear
    One set of clothes for months at a time
    (Although that's just weird and should be a crime).

    I searched by the sofa and under the stairs,
    The bathroom, the bedroom, and backs of the chairs.
    I was getting discouraged, I was feeling quite glum
    I found plenty of change but of socks, not a one.
    Then what did I spy but a pert wagging tail
    Attached to a puppy so hearty and hale.
    I bent down to pet her and to my surprise
    There were dozens of socks all in one size
    In a corner, piled up like a nest
    In exactly the shape a puppy likes best.
    I have to apologize, I thought you were sloppy
    But as it turns out, you lost your socks thanks to Poppy.

    Posted 17 hours, 25 minutes after the fact
  13. Phil Baines:

    why is that when someone posts a poem, everyone who comments on it will reply in like manner?

    Makes me laugh ...

    Posted 1 week after the fact
  14. Me:

    i love socks- and your poem is cool.

    Posted 1 year, 6 months after the fact
  15. Ethan:


    Posted 1 year, 7 months after the fact
  16. Bob:

    Sock are awesome! Woo Hoo I love Cheerios too. Now if i had a pair of socks with Cheerios on them that would be so cool.

    Posted 2 years, 1 month after the fact

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