Post #67

I will now count backwards from ten

5th December 2003, the wee hours | Comments (15)

A man hypnotizing a woman

Getting your message across to the browsing-public is a tough job for web site owners: reading on-screen is far from optimal; connection speeds are still slow here in the UK; and with the average user’s attention span being smaller than my pen is (it's a very small pen), a web site owner has to work hard to retain a visitor beyond those first few seconds.

Layout and colour, typeface and copy, structure and style; all should combine to relay a subtle message of trust and familiarity to your visitors.

Unheralded stars of this deft art, the team behind Culture Front couldn’t have got it more right.

From its clean lines and delightful colour scheme (not too many people could combine pink, electric green and diarrhea-brown, but they carry it off with aplomb) to the evil-eye banner-ad drawing you in: the whole site wreaks of class.

Seeing this page for the first time I felt a warm glow within me; hello, I thought, here’s a site I can trust, and they clearly believe in what they’re selling: hypnosis.

I was only a matter of seconds before I’d clicked on all the links on the page, filling Firebird with, ha ha, dare I say it, hypnotic content!! Here’s some of it:

How To Hypnotize

I successfully hypnotised my first subject using your script. He was hypnotised to a very deep trance and I was able to suggest he forgot his name and a number. Then I put him back into trance and removed the suggestion.

You see, hypnosis is fun. He was able to suggest he forgot his name and a number — fabulous!

I have already hypnotised 2 people to a deep level of trance producing negative and positive hallucinations and doing most of the stage routines you suggest in your book with complete success. It is a great feeling to achieve this!!

That’s a beautiful story…

And so you see, you don’t need a Bowman, or a Shea, or a Zeldman to build a successful site. No. Save your money. All you need are some obscure colours, a buzz word you can repeat until the cows come home, and, of course, the magic ingredient: un-natural powers of hypnotic suggestion.

Jump up to the start of the post

Comments (15)

Jump down to the comment form ↓

  1. Dunstan:

    The site was down earlier today, if that's the case again then here's Google's cached version:

    Posted 1 hour, 5 minutes after the fact
  2. The Scholar:

    Best post I have seen all week. Thanks for the amusement.

    Posted 4 hours, 36 minutes after the fact
  3. McChris:

    I was about to give them my credit card number when I realised I couldn't remeber my name...this hypnotism business really must work....

    Posted 10 hours, 35 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  4. Dunstan:

    Chris, that had me laughing out loud :oD

    Posted 11 hours, 43 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ McChris
  5. Sian:

    Not sure whether to laugh or cry ...

    Posted 12 hours, 33 minutes after the fact
  6. Chris:

    Dunstan, are you promoting their site because you were hypnotized into joining their associate program.

    Posted 13 hours, 59 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  7. Dunstan:

    You may mock, but it really works! For instance, I haven't read the book, only the web site, but I've already made great inroads into this mystical art.

    One of the quotes in my post says: "I was able to suggest he forgot his name and a number."

    Well, I too can perform such feats of suggestion, and that after only 1 day!... ahem...

    "Chris, if you're not too busy, may I suggest you forget the number 5, and also, maybe your name."

    Wait for it... wait for it... there.

    Now, you, what number comes after 4?

    Hm?... No?

    Ha ha! Success!

    Posted 14 hours, 13 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Chris
  8. Chris:


    Posted 14 hours, 52 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  9. Dunstan:

    I rest my case.

    Posted 14 hours, 56 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Chris
  10. David House:

    Awesome colour scheme. *stealifies*

    Posted 15 hours, 49 minutes after the fact
  11. Matthew Farrand:

    I notice that the site was made using FrontPage. Need I say more?

    Posted 19 hours, 46 minutes after the fact
  12. Rich Manalang:

    Hi Dunstan. This is unrelated, but I just thought I'd let you know that your site navigation on the right does not work on Firebird 0.7 on Linux. Anyway, just thought you might want to know.

    Posted 1 day, 4 hours after the fact
  13. [m]:

    Ani GIF's are the way to go.

    When I try to read the beautiful website, I keep seeing the same red and yellow text over, and over, and over again.

    That hypnosis stuff really works!!

    Posted 1 day, 16 hours after the fact
  14. Colin D. Devroe:

    I am a chicken, that lives in the 3rd dimension from the left.

    Posted 1 day, 23 hours after the fact
  15. Owen:

    on the whole choice of color issue, I'd like to display beat that if you dare

    Posted 5 days, 18 hours after the fact

Jump up to the start of the post

Add your comment

I'm sorry, but comments can no longer be posted to this blog.