Post #300

Retro: Everyone likes Cox

12th March 2004, mid-afternoon | Comments (32)

Tucson, Arizona, USA ~ April, 2002.

The company that provides cable and internet access to most of the homes in Tucson is called ‘Cox’. An unfortunate choice of name, in my opinion.

Their two big advertising campaigns are called: ‘Cox in your Home’ and ‘Cox on Demand’.

I picture the following boardroom scene:

So, item number 4 on the agenda: the new Company name. Any ideas before I reveal our research findings?
Well, Bob and I had a few thoughts… ahem: ‘ACNE: Arizona Cable Network Enterprises’, or ‘PENIS: Professionally Integrated Network Infrastructure Services’, and one more, ‘TITS&ASS: Tucson Interactive Television Systems and Audio Streaming Services’. That’s our favourite, right Bob?
Yeah, we really liked TITS&ASS.
Well, those are good ideas Bob, Dave, but market research in college campuses shows that over 99% of all female students answered ‘Yes’ when asked if they ‘liked Cox’. So that’s what we’re gonna go with.
Well, you can’t argue with the figures.

I’m sure that their next campaign will be for wireless internet services and titled ‘Cox in your Hand’.

Our research shows 100% of females would use a handheld Cox product, or have used a similar product in the past.

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Comments (32)

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  1. Ray:

    Back in school, down the street from campus, there was a small local law firm.

    It's name: Cox & Johnson.

    No lie :)

    Posted 9 minutes after the fact
  2. Christian Machmeier:

    That's no fuzz? Very funny, indeed.

    Posted 17 minutes after the fact
  3. Bob:

    In a primarily Asian-oriented shopping center near my previous home were the establishments "My Dung Bookstore" and "John Thomas Insurance."

    Posted 38 minutes after the fact
  4. Stuart:

    Obviously I could use this as an excuse to come up with many, many poor-taste jokes. I am manfully resisting this urge, however, in order that I can tell a joke: apparently the Queen has pulled out of attending this year's Boat Race because she's discovered that she's expected to kiss the winners' cox. :-)

    Posted 1 hour, 1 minute after the fact
  5. Snowflake:

    Here in Sweden we've got a pharmaceptical company called "Locum". So far everything good. However they spell it with a lower case L so it's realy "locum". Still good. Until their advertising campain where they replaced the "o" with a heart - go figure ;)

    And here's as picture:

    Posted 1 hour, 14 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan, ↓ DarkBlue
  6. Dunstan:

    Oh, I like that one, Snowflake!

    Posted 1 hour, 18 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Snowflake
  7. Chad:

    good one dunstan....i have lived all over the southeastern us, and the "cox cartel", as i prefer to call them, have taken over the cable industry, and their service sucks! we had a "hi-speed" cable modem here in fayetteville, ar, and the connection on it generally ran in the area of about 100K....whoooaaa...slow down there big fella! so hats off tp you on your cracks at them, they deserve it...what WERE they thinking???

    Posted 1 hour, 24 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  8. Dunstan:

    Hey, sorry about your dog, Chad, she looked nice.

    We used to have Springer Spaniels (what was Priss?), and it broke my heart when they died :o(

    Posted 1 hour, 30 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Chad
    Inspired: ↓ Chad
  9. Todd:


    Dunstan...between this and the beer drinking guy with the hermaphrodite dog you're killing me! Keep it up.

    Posted 2 hours, 13 minutes after the fact
  10. Chad:

    thanks dunstan, she was an australian shepherd...and yes, it hurts to lose a friend, thats for sure...everyone tells me that you have to try and focus on the good memories, although sometimes thats hard to do ya know..

    Posted 2 hours, 28 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Dunstan
  11. Chris Vincent:

    I think Cox provides most of the US midwest region. That's what I have here in Kansas.

    The name does provide some light during occassional network outages. "Damn Cox! The Internet is out again!"

    Posted 2 hours, 48 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ [m]
  12. Web:

    Yeah I have COX cable, there big on the east coast too .. there a horrible horrible cable company only exceeded by thier own horrible name.

    Posted 5 hours, 44 minutes after the fact
  13. Nicole:

    Actually, it's a common last name where I grew up. There were several Cox', so to speak, in my high school.

    Posted 8 hours, 55 minutes after the fact
  14. Chuckg:

    Dunstan, how can you forget Phat Farm ( ... I don't care that if it's clothing, I can only imagine what people outside of the states are thinking. Ok, ok, I know we do liposuction, but come on! =P

    Posted 10 hours, 23 minutes after the fact
  15. [m]:

    Haha Chris, If I was drinking milk I would surely made a good visual "picture" for that one line.

    Posted 23 hours, 33 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Chris Vincent
  16. Clayton:

    Oh dear, on the so called 'Cox' homepage they have the phrase highlighted 'Fake Cox e-mail with a virus attachment'. Where exactly is this 'attachment' going. Leave it to the Americans to come up with an awful name for a company!

    Posted 1 day after the fact
  17. DarkBlue:

    Ha, ha that's totally brilliant, I'm amazed this didn't get picked up during proof-reading or whatever though.

    Good laugh anyway.

    Posted 1 day after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Snowflake
  18. Ciaran:

    lol, excellent

    cox - the porno apple :)

    Posted 1 day, 3 hours after the fact
  19. Karen:

    Springfield, Missouri is home to the imposing Cox Medical Center, the motto of which is "no one knows you better."

    Posted 1 day, 6 hours after the fact
  20. Soxiam:

    I once drove pass a place in Englewood Cliff (NJ, USA) called "T&A Meat Market".

    Posted 1 day, 10 hours after the fact
  21. Mark Hurd:

    I live in Texas and we have Comcast for our cable internet/TV services. I know Cox covers lots of areas in the South, all the way out to California.

    The running joke out there is Cox sucks Cox. :)

    Posted 1 day, 12 hours after the fact
  22. Mattymcg:

    Ha ha. Living in Japan I have an endless supply of amusement like this around every corner. Where can I start? How about this hairdresser, strangely entitled the Hair Cook Pit...

    Posted 1 day, 12 hours after the fact
  23. Dunstan:

    Names make for funny business:,4057,8964172%5E13762,00.html

    Posted 1 day, 18 hours after the fact
  24. Ian Cox:

    My name is Ian COX, it an't that funny really.

    Posted 2 days, 3 hours after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  25. Dunstan:


    Sorry, Ian! :oD

    Posted 2 days, 3 hours after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Ian Cox
  26. Brent Chismark:

    Hey Dunstan, I'm a regular reader from across the pond, and a first-time commenter.

    Speaking of Cable and Cox, I did a summer with my local cable company checking for illegal connections and I was once sent out to check on a known repeat offender. Looking down at the former customer's name, I couldn't believe my eyes:

    "Richard Cocks"

    Yes, actually spelled that way too!

    Posted 2 days, 11 hours after the fact
  27. Chris:

    In the UK we have a loud DJ called Sarah Cox. I know it's bad of me, but I can just imagine what her middle name might be!


    Posted 3 days after the fact
  28. Tim:

    I keep hearing ads for a law firm here in Michigan: Harness, Dickie and Pierce. Sounds more like instructions to me...

    Posted 4 days, 21 hours after the fact
  29. Mark:

    Great post and replies... Cox is big around here, so to speak. :) I'm in Oklahoma City and they seemed to have swallowed the market.

    Also here in OKC we have a cardboard box company called "The Love Box Company." I swear. I cracked up when I saw it the first time.

    Posted 1 week, 6 days after the fact
  30. Dave:

    I pity Cox users:

    Posted 1 week, 6 days after the fact
  31. OzarkBard:

    I have been on Cox Cable modem for two years now in Arkansas. I have talked to just about every tech support personell they have, even upping my calbe modem access to $99/month business account to try to alleviate the problems with laggy performance... all to no avail. I get better performance from local dialup access, and have decided to cancel ALL Cox services: going with digital satellite and crappy dialup internet access (even crappy dialup access provides better ping). After two years, I have heard every promise known to mankind that netowrk conditions will improve.. I'm still waiting. To hell with Cox and their "high speed" cable modem. I feel like I have been lied to for TWO GODAMN YEARS and spent a lot of my well earned money for a service that is well below subpar that is advertised. BEST ADVICE FOR ANYONE IN ARKANSAS!!!!: GET DSL! (if you can)

    Posted 3 weeks, 6 days after the fact
  32. Brad:

    Was I asleep when the definition of phone call changed?

    I recently sent this note off to our subject company:

    "Does Cox bill for call s that don't go through? I was just told that everytime I hit "flash" and redial, I'm billed another $0.10. True?"

    Their response:

    "Thank you for your inquiry. Cox is committed to providing the best customer service possible.

    Once you dial the long distance number within a few seconds the billing begins. If you need any further assistance, please let us know.

    Thank you for choosing Cox Communications as Your Friend in the Digital Age!"

    I guess it's true that doing business with Cox, you're likely to get screwed...

    Posted 2 months, 3 weeks after the fact

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